Emotionally Based School Avoidance

Emotionally Based School Avoidance (EBSA) is often misunderstood. Many assume it’s simply about a child not wanting to go to school, when in reality it is very much about not being able to. These young people aren’t being wilful or defiant; they are overwhelmed, anxious, and experiencing distress that makes the school environment feel unmanageable.

For many children and young people, EBSA is rooted in anxiety and sensory overload triggered by the school setting. Understanding what EBSA isn’t is just as important as understanding what it is: it is not a sign of a child being difficult. It is a sign that the environment around them is not meeting their needs.

The impact on families

EBSA can be emotionally draining for families. Parents naturally want to help their child, so seeing them struggle day after day can take a toll on the whole household. Evenings before a school day may feel tense and uncertain, and routines can become unpredictable. Siblings, too, can feel the strain, often unsure how to help or how to make sense of what’s happening.

Parents’ own emotional responses can inadvertently heighten a child’s anxiety. This is never about blame – worrying is a natural response when your child is in distress – but children are often incredibly attuned to the emotions around them.

Practical steps for navigating EBSA

Plan for the challenging times: EBSA can ebb and flow. Being aware of the trickier days of the week or specific triggers can help parents feel more prepared and emotionally grounded themselves.

Use in-the-moment strategies: Grounding techniques – such as using sensory input, breathing exercises or taking a quiet walk – can help regulate your own emotions and support your child’s calm.

Talk to the school early: Request a meeting to explore concerns and agree adjustments. Helpful strategies might include reduced hours, calm breakout spaces, sensory supports, or a gradual and personalised return to school.

Advocate with confidence: Parents know their child best. It’s absolutely appropriate to ask for the right support, involve SEND professionals, or seek external assessments when needed.

Finding the right path

For some young people, stepping away from the classroom can be the first meaningful step toward rebuilding confidence. Home learning, or a blended approach, can help, but it’s important to take things at a manageable pace and avoid expecting progress to happen all at once. School isn’t the right environment for every child, so exploring all available options is key.

EBSA can feel overwhelming, but families are not alone.